Damn, Late Again!

Westley Chow
March 26th, 2009

Damn, Late Again!

Being late to class is a regular thing for me. I used to care about being on time; it gave me a slight sense of satisfaction knowing that I made the effort to be there before the teacher, ready to fall in line like everyone else. These days I don’t really care for being on time to class unless I’m up for a presentation or a reading like this one. Shit, I might not even show up at all. I’m so conditioned to being late all the time, that I’m late more often than I am on time, and it’s only once in a blue moon that you’ll see me show up early. It’s awesome.
As I’m writing this, I’m anticipating being a bit late for this class. It’s 10:00AM and I should be in Biomechanics jotting down notes like a good Asian student. Instead I woke up late and skipped class to write this paper. “Teacher, teacher, me so solly.” Inspiration sometimes strikes at the most inconvenient of times. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel somewhat bad for showing up late… sometimes. I’m not a total asshole; it’s just what New York City has turned me into… I’m the victim here.
Understand this though; there are many benefits to being late to class. First of all, you can sleep a few more minutes; who doesn’t like that? I’d much rather continue dreaming about how heaven doesn’t want me and that hell is afraid I’ll take over. I’ve got Lucifer in a rear naked choke! Oh wait, that’s my pillow. Besides catching up on a few Z’s, being late to class means that you’re in class less. This is one of those situations where less is more, and more is less. I’m only saying this assuming that you guys are like me and study every single minute outside of class. If you’re Asian, you’re supposed to live at the library right?
Another one of big perks of being late is what I’d like to refer to as the walk of shame. Call it whatever you want, but everyone knows what I’m talking about and what it feels like. It’s grrrrrrrreeaatt! That period of ten seconds when you interrupt class and everyone’s looking at you thinking “Wow, that guy’s a dick.” Was that what you were thinking today? That’s cool with me; I’ll take my ten seconds of fame however I can get it. There’s no such thing as bad publicity am I right or am I right? I’m probably wrong on that one.
I’ve got to wrap this up, it’s 10:50AM and I should be in Henkle’s class giving my respect to the other students who’ll have to listen to my bullshit in a bit. I’ll be a little late guys, feel free to hate on me, but don’t try to be like me. Being late regularly and pulling off good grades takes tremendous talent and micromanaging abilities that I don’t even have. I wish this piece could be longer, but I’m late for class as usual. Scott Henkle looks like Christian Bale.