On Religion

Religion in Brazil is extremely diverse. Although 70% of the population "declares" themselves as Roman Catholics, the other 30% consists of other religious sects but mainly the public practice of Afro-Brazilian religions. A famous example is Macumba, which is a form of superstitious and luck related rituals that derived from the European influence of witchcraft. The name itself has several definitions, a musical instrument or an African deity, but usually one prefers to opt for the simple definition of the word 'magic'. Most people in Brazil consider it "black witchcraft" but again these practices are clearly seen in public through acts.

Igreja Universal do Reino de Deus or Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, was located primarily in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and has now apparently spread throughout the world. My grandmother, Mary V. is a faithful member of the church for over 10 years. Mom says she converted from being the "life of the party" and a "MILF" around her late 40s to a dull church follower. Mary was brought to the church by mother's former friend Donna, a pothead for as long as I can remember. Mary also prefers being called V, even from her granddaughters.

How it works? Simple, if you want something, you consult with the Macumba specialist and they give you herbs and tell you to either bath it in or drink it as a tea reciting some kind of spell words and then it’s just a matter of time. Brazilians themselves are ignorant as to what Macumba really is but these rituals are a common practice of every household. Planting lavender in their front yard for luck, sprinkling spilt salt over their left shoulder, wearing red underwear on New Year's for love and so on. There are also spells for money, bad luck on others, and even death. Faithful followers go as far as performing peculiar rituals on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

I live with V for over 3 years now in Brazil and growing up I became a church girl (the literal sense of the term of course) alongside my sister Kyra. Unfortunately, there is a U.C. of God in literally every town we visit.

Another Afro-Brazilian religion is Candomble, a popular sect concentrated mainly in large urban centers such as Salvador, Recife, Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, Rio Grande do Sul and Santa Catarina. Candomble is also known for being the survival of West African religion.

Do not drink, smoke, lie, party, fuck, cheat, envy, abuse, steal, disrespect… Allowed: Dizmo, 10% of every penny you earn should be neatly placed in a special envelope and given to God in return for his blessings or else. Oferta, money one is to offer when the pastor brings out a velvet bag and sells CDs, bibles, or simply says "Can anyone here offer $1000? $500? $250? $100? $50? In the name of God, $25? Amen".

The south usually focuses more in a different sect called Umbanda which is more like a ritual that blends Spiritism, Indigenous and African beliefs. Because these religions were believed to be pagan or satanic practices, followers were persecuted throughout Brazil's History, but today if you simply walk around an urban city you will find cute offerings of food, candles and flowers in public roads for the Orixa spirits.

And of course every church has a schedule. On Monday one prays for prosperity. Tuesday is for curing the sick. On Wednesdays we worship the Holy Spirit. If you have family problems, come on Thursdays. Friday is for liberation, from what? The devil, duh. No church on Saturdays, but make sure you come to say thanks on Sundays. V said we have a lot of problems so go everyday. I always have to remind her church is closed on Saturdays...

The Federacao Internacional de Umbanda e Candomble says the religion revolves around Nature's soul, so in a way it can be known as Animism, as if that would make the whole thing less weird.

My sister Kyra loves the Biblical School. Who knew kids enjoy coloring Jesus portraits all day. I hate taking home shrines; they require me to return them the following week (smart way of making people come back). V doesn't get along with the other church women, she is too holy for them.

Basically, rituals consist of people being possessed by the Orixa spirits and they are offered animals, minerals and food while trancing. During these odd rituals, people are also healed and sometimes they place spells on enemies. The Orixas today are compared to Catholic saints since their physical image is the same but a black slave version of each saint. Now imagine what the Virgin Mary looks like. Furthermore, Candomble spread mostly after the end of slavery but was originally banned by the Catholic Church. If you seek some adventure, visit Brazil's original Candomble terreiro (temple) in Bahia. Keep in mind; Afro-Brazilian religions are mostly oral so each terreiro has a different set of ideas and rituals. Have fun...

There are always 3 Cultos in a day. One at 7am, one at 3pm and one at 7pm. They usually last 2 hours and because of my afterschool schedule today; V took us to the 7pm ceremony. The hardest part is staying awake for 2 hours of lecture after a long day in school. My sleep was rudely interrupted by the pastor clearing his throat in the mic, and saying some idiotic remark, "stay awake and feel the spirit folks", which caused V to shove me until I was up again. But there is no chance in sleeping through Fridays. The lights go off, everyone stands up, put their hands on their head, close their eyes and start repeating prayers with the pastor. Oh, and some fortunate people go through exorcism. Then the fun part: a few lights turn on, we speak to the evil spirits as they tell us their plot to kill the person they possess then... "Sai! EM NOME DE JESUS, SAI!" (Translation: demons are sent "home"). Sometimes I wish I was young like Kyra so I can spend my 2 hours coloring...